Memoirs of a Fat Girl

History was built on a loaf of bread. Here's what Wikipedia.com has to say about it:

Bread is one of the oldest prepared foods, dating back to the Neolithic era. The first breads produced were probably cooked versions of a grain-paste, made from ground cereal grans and water, and may have been developed by accidental cooking or deliberate experimentation with water and grain flour.

The Neolithic era was the last part of the Stone Age. Boy, that's old.

Bread has played a huge role in the structure of civilizations: warriors came home to it, travelers packed it in their satchels, farm animals were fed its scraps. And, we all have some form or another of bread that has fed us for centuries. South America has tortillas, the Middle East has pita, Europe has buns and loaves in all kinds of shapes and sizes. The Asians may not be as bready as the rest of us, but dumpling dough is its own form of bread. And, all that rice surely qualifies for something.

Enter the low carb, no carb phenomenon of the past five years or so, and the greatest, most basic sustenance of all time has become a pariah. We have been brainwashed into believing that we should abandon carbs of all kinds because it is better for us. Even worse, they've made it a dietary thing. Once these carbs are gone from our systems, we will lose weight.

This is a half truth. Yes, some carbs are bad for you, because even though "carbohydrates" is one word, it refers to two very different things. Or did you already know that? There are Simple Carbohydrates, and Complex Carbohydrates.

I am not a nutritionist, so I'll let some smarter people take over. Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin of the book Skinny Bitch give us these useful tidbits:

Simple carbohydrates such and are as nutritionally beneficial as toilet paper. They are mostly made up of sugar, which releases too quickly, almost voilently, into our bodies, causing "super highs" and then "crashes." This tends to leave us feeling hungry, so we eat more. On the other hand, complex carbohydrates are comprised of starch and fiber and release graduatlly, providing a steady source of energy. They make us feel full and satisfied and are easily broken down to release their energy. Shitty simple carbohydrates include white flour, white pasta (durum semolina), white rice, and white sugar. These are the bad boys that give all carbs a bad reputation.

Fascinating, don'tcha think? It gets worse.

For some asinine reason, food manufacturers decided that we wouldn't buy their products unless they were white and soft. So they took natural grains, like brown rice and whole wheat, and stripped away all their nutrients, vitamins, and minerals to achieve the colour and texture change. This refining process totally compromises the nutritional integrity of the food - all for appearances. So companies then add these nutrients back into their refined, milled foods and use terms like "enriched" or "fortified." But there's no use trying to fool with Mother Nature. Our bodies cannot absorb these added-in minerals with the same ease. Tragically, most cereals, pastas, rice, bagels, breads, cookies, muffins, cakes, and pastries have been bastardized in this manner. Pay attention to how your body feels when you eat these foods. Chances are you'll notice moderate to severe mood swings and energy surges and losses.

Coporations have single handedly fucked up our carbs for us, which have helped to make us fat. And then, other corporations spent billions in advertising not only telling us this, but convincing us to eat their carb-free products instead.

Truth is, we need carbs. Also say the girls of Skinny Bitch:

Carbohydrates are compounds made up of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen, and they are vital for providing energy for our bodies and brains. Without them, we would be comatose zombies. When we eat food, our bodies turn the carbohydrates into glucose for immediate energy and the rest is stored as glycogen for the reserves.

Did you hear that? Vital. One more source and I'll shut up with the quoting. If any of the above didn't sway you, then maybe MayoClinic.com will:

Mistakenly thought of as fattening, grain products can easily fit into a healty-eating plan without necessarily leading to weight gain. Excess calories are what lead to weight gain, not simply the carbohydrates found in grains or other foods. However, watch out for grain products laden with sugar or fat - such as pastries, dessert breads and croissants - as they're high in calories and provide few nutrients.

As children, we were handed out those food groups charts for a reason. Funny how kids seem to get it and adults don't.

In plain English, eat your damn carbs.

Here's a little list to help you: good carbs are potatoes, beans, vegetables, lentils, whole wheat breads and pasta. Bad, bad carbs are peanut butter cookies, butterscotch scones and angel food cake.

You need carbs, you should eat carbs and trust me, you will still lose weight when they are properly incorporated into your diet. If you're still not sold that you need carbs and fiber as part of your healthier lifestyle then by all means, keep reading.

I'm about to convince you.