The Calorie Chronicles: The Atkins Diet

Barely a year back from Prague, my size eight waist had reached an epic 16. I wanted it gone, and fast.

It was my cousin Maggie who introduced me to Atkins. Usually a super svelte size six, Maggie gained over 60 pounds when she was pregnant with Jinny, her firstborn. I'd never seen her like that before. Over the course of a few months though, she was back to her original size just like that.

I was beside myself and asked how she'd done it. "The Atkins Diet," Maggie replied, and showed me the book that had worked its magic.

The Atkins Diet theorizes that low carbs conquer all. There are four phases to the diet: Induction, ongoing weight loss, pre-maintenance and lifetime maintenance. Each is special in its own way, and has certain characteristics and commands of you, the dieter, to understand and gain the necessary steps to stay thin and healthy for life.

The Induction Phase is the first, the full intent of it being to get your body into a quicker state of ketosis. This is the metabolic stage when your body is burning fat. During the induction, your intake is limited to 20 grams of protein per day, which can include several types of meats, some cheeses, and select vegetables. It is not unusual for dramatic weight loss to occur at this time.

Maggie suggested I try the induction for two weeks. This is what she had done, and during those couple of weeks, had lost 14 pounds. Her husband had lost 20. "It doesn't come off little by little though, at least it didn't for me, " she claimed, "but at the end of those two weeks, all of a sudden, I'd just dropped a bunch of weight. You have to see it to believe it."

I did want to see it, so I ran out to the grocery store to prepare myself for two weeks of Atkins induction. I bought all kinds of protein, and started the 14 day first phase with the dedication of a champ.

I didn't make it that far. On the morning of the fifth day, I woke up in such unbelievable pain, I couldn't even stand.

My kidneys were screaming. The pain was so intense that I was curled up in the fetal position, shaking and sobbing with the panic and urgency of it all. My usual, recurring pains were a dull, slow feeling, nothing as crazy as this. The last time I'd felt anything so bad was pre-surgery, when I was 11 years old.

I was living with Jess at the time, and as you can imagine, he was mighty freaked. I was too preoccupied with how badly I was feeling to make the connection, but he was clearheaded enough to put two and two together. He did some quick online research to confirm his suspicions, called my mother to ask her some questions, and then ran out to the corner store.

Jess came back home with a box of crackers. Not just any box of crackers, but the brand with the highest percentage of fiber content on the nutritional label. He brought the open box into the bedroom, sat me up in bed, and started feeding me crackers.

I didn't want them. I was on the Induction phase, and determined to lose weight. This was going to ruin everything, but Jess was insistent. "You'll feel better, I promise," he said, and practically forced the first one past my lips. After that was chewed and swallowed, he gave me another. And another. He kept persuading me to eat cracker after cracker, until most of the box was gone.

By then I was too full to continue, and Jess was satisfied with how much I'd eaten. That said, he thought a nap would be a good idea, and tucked me back in bed. I did manage to sleep for a bit, and when I woke up, lo and behold... I felt so much better.

When I was able to stand up again and slowly shuffle into the living room, Jess showed me some of the research he'd done. I would love to put here what he showed me, but I couldn't find that same info. I'll have to rely on the Skinny Bitch girls just one more time:

It is a complete myth that we need a massive amount of protein. Too much protein - especially animal protein - can impair our kidneys; leach calcium, zinc, vitamin B, iron, and magnesium from our bodies; and cause osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, and obesity. In addition, high amounts of protein can damage our tissues, organs, and cells, contributing to faster aging. Yikes!

It was necessary to tell you my story, so you can understand the full implications of what dieting this way will do to you. While the Induction Phase is only temporary, and I'm sure the Atkins Diet doesn't condone eating like this over long periods of time, I'm more than positive there are scores of people out there who abuse this system just for the sake of losing weight.

Don't be one of them. Because my kidneys are weak, they can feel every little thing. Just because you have healthy kidneys and can't feel anything, let me assure you, that does not mean nothing bad is happening.

My red flags went up at day five. Imagine what's happening to you by day 14. Even worse, at day 28, or 42. Imagine what damage you could unknowingly be inflicting upon yourself, just because you want to be thinner.

You don't need it that badly.

I don't need it that badly. I have since been Atkins free, because the lesson I learned on this diet was the easiest lesson of all.

I learned to never do it again.