Memoirs of a Fat Girl

Dear Paint Manufacturers,

Could you do us all a favour and oh, make your colours a little more realistic? Better yet, could you please tell me that of all the whites on earth and the six paintbooks I own, why isn't there a white by the name of Milk?

I love milk. It is one of the most popular whites I know. I find it very hard to believe that there are whites called Mayonnaise, Bleach Bone and Natashquah - just what is a Natashquah? - and yet there is no white called Milk. While I hesitate to paint my walls Mayonnaise, favourite condiment of sandwiches everywhere, I would dearly love to pair the Cappucino colour with some milky white stripes. If I put real life milk in my cappucino, why can't I pair them on my walls?

Furthermore, if you don't have plain Milk, you could at least have Steamed Milk, or Froth. As you can see I've read a few directories, but my Cappucino remains untopped.

I must congratulate you on Van Deusen Blue, though. Imagine my pleasant surprise in finding that it is a perfect complement for my bathroom. I sincerely look forward to having my commode walls named after a constipated Austrian baron.

Incorrigibly yours,

Yet Another Interior Design Buff
(amateur)