The Aneurysm

OPENING SCENE: ROOM 55G IN GHETTO HOSPITAL. OCCUPANTS WHEEZING, SPITTING AND BLEEDING. RAJ'S BED IS CLOSEST TO THE DOOR

Me: If you ever have an aneurysm again, I'm going to kill you.

James: I second that.

Raj: What the fuck am I supposed to do, these stupid doctors won't let me go home. And look at this hospital!

Me: Yeah, it sucks. Why'd you have to come to this one?

James: Because this hospital is reknown for its Neurology department.

Me: Doesn't change the fact the ceiling tiles are falling down.

Raj: Darling, you and I have to become rich and famous so we can afford only the best and most luxurious care.

James: What about me?

Me: you're a strapping young male, you'll be fine in any situation. Me and Raj are the delicate ones.

James: (snorts)

Me: So darling, what happened?

Raj: When that bitch walked off with all my money and didn't finish the painting job, I just SNAPPED.

James: Literally.

Raj: That bitch gave me an aneurysm!

Me: Easy honey, breathe in, breathe out... I am a hollow reed... trouble blows through me like the wind...

Raj: She still gave me an aneurysm!

Me: Yes, I know she did. But you can't let your temper get the better of you.

Raj: Why not?

Me: Do you really want to stay *here* for even a minute longer than you have to?

(as this is being said, you can hear a patient beyond Raj's curtain coughing up a barrel of phlegm)

Raj: Good point.

James: (snorts)