Memoirs of a Fat Girl

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him.
I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him.
I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him.
I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him.
I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him.
I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him. I will not call him.

Can you please explain to me why, if I was so miserable and this is all for the best, I'm constantly fighting an urge to pick up the phone?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...: no explanation, but don't do it. believe me. been there.

don't. do. it.; 2:22 PM
Lance Morrison said...: Ahhhh. You sound like an ex-smoker!
Quitting smoking is easy.... for the first few weeks.... but then it starts: "Oh.... I can have just ONE drag, I've been this long without one. And it's not that I'll like it now. It'll just remind me how much I hate it. Yeah... that's the ticket. I'll just have a little bit to remind me how much I never liked it."
Yeah... you know what... that shit doesn't work. It's all fucked up mind games that go through our head. We just try to trick ourselves into getting back into an addiction that was never good for us anyway.
We've all been through it. A break-up; a divorce; a twelve step program; a new job. It's all the same. Just the same tired-ass excuse that we tell ourselves to try to get back to what we consider to be 'normalcy’.
Know what.... There’s no such thing as 'Normalcy'!
You just broke up with your man. Fuck it!
I just quit Smoking. Fuck it!
We hate our jobs. Fuck it!
But when things change, we're gonna try to remind ourselves how much we enjoyed the past, but we need to realize...
You're relationship was self-destructive.
I hated smoking for years.
Our jobs are not where we want to be.
No sense clutching onto the past; to hell with the past. Let's move on to the future together as friends. We'll help each other through the stupidness that is out current lives and try to see what the future has to offer.
Fuck Jess! Fuck Nicotine! Fuck out jobs! And Fuck everything that is not going to make us the best people we can be.
Just fuck everything… except US!

PS: I did Oli's hair today and got your email and phone #. We'll talk this weekend to discuss the linking thing and the whole blog attachment thing and whatever.
TA.; 11:00 PM
The Big Cheese said...: Have you ever read a book called "Who Moved My Cheese?"; 11:04 AM
Hope said...: oh my god...i do the same friggin thing. it is a sick thing. i just blogged about it too. damn. soooooooo - did you call? don't. don't do it. do some clockwork orange thing so you feel SICK if you call. really. hang in there sister!!!; 4:18 PM
With Love, Fat Girl said...: The support here is insane, as in, insanely good. I have not called, but I'm going to have to soon, even just for business purposes. There's more to it than just relationship bullshit... I sincerely thank you all for your help. It's easier with you here, not to mention playing "figured you out" by nickelback 200 times a day.; 7:18 PM
The Big Cheese said...: You know what helps me in a situation like this? Crying while I masturbate, looking at a picture of the ex...Oh, and eating a block of cheese (Swiss).

PS. Where the fucking are my mini-muffins? And the "favors".; 7:37 PM
With Love, Fat Girl said...: As I mentioned in your blog, honey, crying, masturbating and photo holding just don't cut it. Masturbation should be *good* and I have toys for that!

PS - have you ever tried Epoisse?; 8:14 AM