Memoirs of a Fat Girl

My dears, it has been a long, partially lazy week full of the intricate mysteries of relationships and the art of bridal showers. In short, I have written nothing new.

I will, though. But in the meantime, please enjoy this entry lifted from bell's blog. It is a fascinating article on relationships that she posted long ago, so much so that I asked if I could one day borrow it.

Read the whole thing. Not only will you be glad you did, but you just might see a lot of yourself in it.

The following is an extract from (c) EBBCG.Inc publication

What determines a successful relationship is not about conformance to a set of criterias. Nor it is about public or family approval. Nor it is about getting all that you want, either in your partner, or the relationship itself. Nor it is about figuring out what you want, although beginning to describe what you want helps to alleviate some of the confusions.

When we observe people in relationships, undeniably we can see that some couples are happier than others. Those are the ones whom we see and we get this warm feeling in our chest, because their happiness somehow permeates, and we smile. Because we have witnessed a beautiful union. Because seeing them gives us hope that there are a lot of beautiful things in this life. Because they are the living example that (true) love does exist, and when it is shared, it brings joy and happiness. Even to those who are not directly involved.

There are also the ones who are at odds with one another. Those are the ones who have been together for a very long time out of convenience. We can sense the emotional un-connectivity, we can sense the silence wall, we can sense the lack of understanding. Sometimes we even symphathise with them. Yet, their hearts are so cold that it makes us shiver. A lot of times we ask ourselves, why are they still together. Do they really love each other. If they are so unhappy, why dont they do something about it.

And when you know one or a few of those awkward couples, you begin asking, if this is what love is all about. Your idealistic side would say, no way, because you have seen what loving couple-hood suppose to look like. Your realistic side, depending on the mood it is in, may be cynical: "I may not be lucky enough to be in one of those loving relationships". The most awful, of course, is when you forget that loving couple-hood exists.

When we observe people who are unhappy with their relationships, we find that they are obtaining something that they are missing in their relationships - be it thrilling sex or even just basic respect. A lot of people may not realise this because they may not be able to articulate this, but they know when something crucial is missing. Other people may not see it, they may not even understand it. The people at question may not even understand it themselves. Yet, they know that they feel a lot better, a lot happier when their needs are fulfilled.

At the end of the day, a relationship is not about having a joyride - it is a rollercoaster of emotions, a continuous improvement process, it is an imperfect union between two imperfect people who are willing to work hard to make it work.

Wasn't that something?

As for me, I'll glue my ass to the sofa tonight, and my fingers to the computer keys. You shall have fresh meat!
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