Memoirs of a Fat Girl

I was not meant to be a fat girl. It doesn't suit my body. You can snort and say that about everyone, but I don't think that's the case. I really, truly think that some people look better with a little extra.

When you gain weight, your body rounds itself out. Or not. With men it usually goes straight to the gut, but women soften with curves to their arms, legs, hips, butts, breasts. You keep rounding gradually until it's not so graceful anymore.

The alternative is gaining a lot of weight in certain areas, but not so much in others. That was me. My butt and thighs are where most it went, and even into my face. No matter how big I got, I never had a big chest.

I didn't think I had a problem until I actually experienced University life for the first time. I was living on campus, and hiding away while all the other girls were having vicarious, no strings attached sex with different guys every week. Sure I'd go out, dance, drink and have a great time in general, but I always went back to my room alone.

My first chunk of weight came off naturally. Students leave home and gain the Freshman 15; I lost 25lbs instead. I don't know how it happened since I was stockpiling as much junk as everyone else: Pizza Hut, KFC, 3 for 1 wings, the works. Maybe because I was away from home, experiencing freedom and having some fun, it just slipped away without me really noticing.

The next 25lbs slid off over a couple of years. I didn't amend my diet, I just started eating less here and there. Being a student with no car helps, believe me, especially after a few trips to one of the biggest school libraries in the world. Rocky may have run up a lot of stairs, but he never balanced euro-traveler backpacks full of textbooks.

The rest has been blood, sweat and tears over the course of many upsets, and many moons. There have been ups and downs, tears and smiles, and I crave the happiness once again of a job well done. It helps that over the past few days I've also managed to lose three more pounds

Sometimes I just don't want to fight the battle. I'm really not into it. Today, right now, I think I'll stay in the trenches. I want to keep victory in sight.