Memoirs of a Fat Girl

I'll tell you. Let's start knocking these little suckers off.

1) I have not gotten a new job. What I have done is buy the complete directory of job recruiters for my city. I don't believe in e-mailing for employment anymore, since I've done it all of ten million times and gotten nil responses. What I do believe in is "It's not What you know, it's Who you know," but since I know absolutely no one in my desired fields of work, I was suckered into buying the recruitment book in the first place.

2) I have not lost 60 (odd) pounds. If I had managed to lose that much weight in less than two months it means I would have more than enough money for liposuction, stylists, personal trainers and a nutrionist. Instead I have this blog and all of you (weep) to suffer with me through this life-changing, albeit sometimes cold and miserable vehicle. Thanks for the shoulders, y'all.

I did manage to loosen up a bit over the holidays though, and considering what a sugar fest it was, that's a tidy little accomplishment I think.

3) Ding ding ding, we have improvement on this one! Debbie Travis has not come to her senses and made her way to my loft, so I have brought her to me, or more specifically, I got the "Debbie Travis' Facelift: Solutions to Revitalize your Home" book. What can I say, she offers some very helpful hints for wall patterns that I think will look marvelous, in very limited moderation, and I put my vintage laundry signs on the bathroom door.

AND I got furniture which I think is a huge step forward. I am now the proud owner of a 1920's vintage French black... cabinet, I think. It's got four legs, two doors, and looks like a piece Louis XVI would own if back issues of Vogue were next to his chamber pot in Le Commode Royale at Versailles. In short, it's marvelous, and there will be no peasant revolt.

4) Still not official, though I have been assured that the ring has been ordered, and we did go wedding dress shopping. More on that later.

5) CANCELLED! Or to be more specific, postponed in favour of buying a house. Raj and his teddy are still together and still engaged, but have delayed matrimony and shifted said wedding reception cash towards the real estate market.

Don't be fooled into thinking that something has been knocked off my list, darlings. I now have a house purchase, decoration/possible remodeling and housewarming party to experience, and - are you ready for this? - a possible trip to the Middle East with my two chachkas. Also more on that later.

6) I have not written one damn thing for my cookbook. However, among my Christmas presents was the "Joy of Cooking" daily desk calendar, for my better motivation and inspiration. Maybe tonight I'll open the box.

7) Emotional and romantic peace. Is there such a thing? I'm not sure, meaning that I certainly haven't achieved any. We had a great visit though, which I will expand upon - you got it! - later.

8) Okay, let's see. My foot hasn't hit a gas pedal in three years, and you expect me to get back behind the wheel in the dead of winter and slide into who knows how many trees? If we lived in Need for Speed land where car & driver self repair after flying off bridges I'd say Sure!. But since we are in reality, I don't fucking think so.