Sunday, August 12, 2007

Oli’s townhouse is behind my loft. I have discovered something interesting: When I’m not at my place for longer periods of time, she likes to spirit my things away. As per our conversation a few days back:

Me: Hi sis!

Oli: Hi sis!

Me: So chikita, you know I specifically came down this week to clean, right? Want my place all spiffy and slick for when the relations arrive?

Oli: Uh huh. How’s that going, by the way?

Me: Fantastic! It’d be going even better if I could find my vacuum cleaner.

Oli: Oh, that.

Me: Oh that what?

Oli: I borrowed it.

Me: When?

Oli: Dunno, a few months ago I guess.

Me: Oli, you have a vacuum.

Oli: Yeah.

Me: Oli, why do you have my vacuum?

Oli: Yours works better.

Me: Were you planning on returning it?

Oli: At some point.

Me: Great! While you’re returning it, would you throw in the Goo-Gone?

Oli: What do you need that for?

Me: To get rid of a small stain on the carpet, it looks like wine. Only Goo-Gone will do the trick.

Oli: But I have it.

Me: I kinda figured that.

Oli: I’m using it, you know. It works really well.

Me: Yes it does, that’s why I got it. Put it in the box that has my vacuum and bring it on over. Oh and Oli…

Oli: Yeah, sis?

Me: Do you have my iron?

Oli: Maybe.

Me: Don’t you have your own iron?

Oli: Maybe.

Me: Why do you have my iron?

Oli: It works better than mine.

Me: That too, huh? Well if we’re going out later, I’ll be needing to look presentable.

Oli: Okay.

Me: The Dryer look won’t do.

Oli: Okay.

Me: Do you have anything else of mine?

Oli: I don’t know, I’ll have to look.

Me: You do realize that by taking these things away, you’re hindering my cleaning process?

Oli: Yeah.

Me: What have you got to say for yourself?

Oli: I put scented beads in your vacuum. Now it smells pretty.

Me: Wonderful.

7 comments:

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Gotta love sisters! :) Luckily, mine don't "borrow" from me unless it's books, which tend to get lost and never returned. Luckily, I've begun marking my territory with my name on choice pages (not the first one) so that I can always verify my property, esp. when these are found on someone else's bookshelves a year or three later.

That said, we sisters are brutal for borrowing tupperware and not returning them. It's a constant container swap around here. :)

Foofa said...

That is so funny. With my sister half a country away that doesn't happen too often but when she does borrow something I NEVER get it back.

AndreAnna said...

She's right. At least it smells pretty. She could have vacuumed up cat poop.

With Love, Fat Girl said...

Mrs. L, I totally love your system with writing the name on a page other than the first. I've lost way too many books, I am so using that!!! And, ditto on the tupperware. Although we also include our mother in that vicious loop...

Natalie, oh I know. Do I ever know.

Andreanna, she probably did and stuffed the beads in to hide the smell :P Oli, are you reading this?

Anonymous said...

Did NOT put scented beads in your vacuum because to hide cat poop smell. You know me better than that. If I actually did vacuum cat poop .... why would I want to hide it from you. :P Oh, and as for your iron, I got your iron mixed up with my iron because as you know, you have borrowed my iron for lengthier periods of time. Thanks for all your stuff! mwa!

Unknown said...

My roommate vacuumed kitty litter and DID NOT put scented beads in afterwards. Now... a new bag later, it still smells like kitty poop/pee everytime I want to clean.
Count yourself lucky.

Anonymous said...

Chicklet, You haven't vacuumed in MONTHS?? Damn girl, get that thing back STAT!