Memoirs of a Fat Girl

I recently heard a piece of this great radio spoof of that Christmas carol, "It's the most Wonderful time of the year," changed into "It's the most Fattening time of the year." I've been stuck on that preset station ever since hoping to hear it again, but no luck. So I improvised.

"It's the most fattening time of the year
With stuffing of faces
And more salivating that
Dessert is near
It's the most fattening time of the year

It's the chunk-chunkiest season of all
With those sugar-filled greetings
And gluttonous meetings
When friends come to call
It's the chunk-chunkiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting
Indulged liquor toasting
And throwing up out in the snow
Ulcers attacking
From more midnight snacking
'Cause that's the way Christmases go!

Oh, it's the most fattening time of the year
There'll be much waistline blowing
Heartbeats will be slowing
'Cause cardiacs are near

It's the most sickening time
It's the most barbaric time
It's the most fattening time of the year!"