Listen to your sister bitch. Your sister has wedding stress. Listen to your mother bitch. Your mother has wedding stress. Listen to your best gay friend bitch. You're just used to doing that.
Go through your date list. That's right, you're Miss. Uber Popularity for this wedding because you have not one, not two, but three dates!
Date #1 is Vicki, fellow bridesmaid in combat. Vicki is freshly single & fabulous. She is also super sexy, and has flaming red hair that is long and curly just like yours. Talk to Vicki about the first half of the night. Ponder doing a dirty, bisexually inspired dance together just to shock the gourds off everyone.
Neither one of you is into that. You just want to shock the gourds off everyone.
Date #2 is Raj. Unfortunately, James has to chef a big event and will not be available for the wedding. Raj cries. Sympathize. Make him feel better by pondering doing a threesome dance, just to shock the gourds off everyone.
Date #3 is Sandy. He will be showing up later in the evening for cupcakes and the pizza buffet.
Giggle.
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3 comments:
Why was I not asked?????
Oh right... becasue I have my own invitation and beautiful man on my arm
-L
PS: We will BOTH be dancing with you right-wing-bible-thumping-aunt. Question though... did you want us "Full Monty"?
I want you on full charm and best behaviour. She needs a new opinion of gay people!
Oh yes and, did you all want to dance with my mom too? She just needs someone to dance with!
I'm afraid she'll pinch my bottom the whole time, but I'll do it.
Actually, she probably won't take her eyes off Robert hte whole night. "Oh ya... such a handsome boy. Ya."
I did yo' mama's hair on tuesday, and all she kept thinking about was the food for Saturday... morning! You know, the food that is gonna be there for the help (hair and make-up people) while we get you ready.
I said, "Look lady, no need to worry about us... we're hired help. Just give us table scraps and a chicklet and we're fine. Now stop worrying or you're gonna turn your hair back to gray and all my work will be for not!"
"Ack. You right. I just hope we have enoguht food. You know? Oli, what you think? Oh boy. I hope hte food is okay."
Silly Balkans.
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