I do not do well as a Fat Girl, and that summer, I was not doing well as a fat girl. Me with some extra isn’t all that bad, but me with too much all around is a turn for the worst. I was very depressed.
I had just finished my third year of university, and was living in the dorms for the summer break. I had a part time job with the school, was taking a couple of courses, and was the DJ of two of my very own campus radio shows. I was a busy.
Then, I weighed 215 lbs.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m lucky I’m so tall. It enables me to carry my weight well, for the most part anyway. Everyone I’ve admitted my actual weight to has said the same thing: “You look fantastic for that number!”
But still, it was too much. I wanted to be smaller.
That summer I was determined to make positive changes for my weight, kick started by my sister’s surprise announcement that, come July, she and I were going to Europe. Family reunion in Croatia with a few days pit stop in Germany to visit yet more relatives was our itinerary. We would be gone just over two weeks.
Our trip was booked six weeks before departure, and I calculated that I didn’t have a lot of time to drop numbers. I wanted to do as much as I could with the little time that I had, and put myself on a strict regimen post haste. Exercise, mostly in the form of in-line skating, and strict meal portions three times a day. No fats, no sugar, no oil, and almost no carbs. Tons of water.
I weighed myself every single day and after one week, I’d lost three pounds. While this would normally be cause for celebration, back then it just set off the alarms in my head. I had five weeks left, and a lot of weight to lose.
So, I upped the ante. Smaller portions, more exercise. Another week went by, and another two pounds fell off.
But it still wasn’t enough. I was in a panic that I’d lost less weight during that second week, especially since our trip was only a month away. I was starting to get desperate.
More adjustments: Serious exercise, no breakfast, smaller portions, two meals a day instead of three, and nothing but liquids in the evening.
And, a little something else to speed up the process.
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5 comments:
Guh....I remember the days of the "little something extra" on the side of my salad and protein bars. I loved being thin but knowing what I know now, I can no longer justify certain "sacrifices" to achieve thinness, especially a thinness that is not self-sustaining but instead requires additional effort to maintain.
And yeah, please feel free to blogroll me using either (or both) blogs. I'm always excited to be honored with blogroll status! Thanks! :)
I wanted to let you know that I just nominated you for the "thikning blog" award. It is on my post for today and I am too inept to put the link in a comment. You totally deserve it. Posts like this one don't let people forget.
I have a feeling I know what that little something is. I've been a slave to that little something for a long time.
And if I haven't said it before, thank you for sharing your story. I REALLY appreciate it.
Mrs. L, here here. As for the roll, I'll be taking care of that within the next few days.
Natalie... that seriously, really, totally made my day, thank you :) If I can even make one person think, or rethink, how they live with weight issues, than I'll have been some measure of success. I read the instructions on your blog, and will be getting to that within the next few days as well.
As for the ineptness, don't worry about that at all. I'm too inept to even put a picture up!
Airam, if you're doing what I'm about to post about... we need to talk, pronto.
Oh, and, as for the sharing my story bit... that's good to know :) Sometimes it gets hard to tell... this was one of the hardest things of all to tell.
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