Happy Anniversary to Me

I am not supposed to be writing today.

I am not supposed to be writing anymore at all.

Yesterday was my one year blog anniversary. I gave myself 365 days to accomplish all of the goals on my list and so therefore, my time is up.

One small thing, though; I haven’t exactly done everything I set out to do. Shall we examine the evidence?

1. Have I acquired a new job, and am I fresh on the road to a sparkling career?

Nope. But I have been to a handful of interviews, made some contacts, and in fact applied for another job just five minutes ago. And then there’s that Eloise review....

2. Have I lost 60 (odd) pounds?

Nope. But I’m just over a third of the way there. Now it’s lose 30 (odd) pounds.

3. Have I decorated my loft without Debbie Travis?

Halfway there. Promise.

4. Survive my sister’s wedding.

DONE. Phew.

5. Plan & survive my best friend’s wedding.

As you all know, Raj’s wedding was put off in favour of real estate. This ticker was in turn changed to, help friend plan and survive total home facelift.

I’m surviving it quite nicely by not picking up his frantic phone calls every minute of the day, and doing my best to be a (very impartial) friend, and not inserting my opinion into slots A thru infinity. The battle endures.

6. Finish the cookbook that has been idling for 1513 days (and counting)

This is the sound of me laughing so hard, no noise is coming out. Really, in respect to this item, I should be shot. But then it’s just been so busy around here lately.

7. Achieve emotional and romantic peace, if there is such a thing?

Let’s see. I have thrown myself into the vortex of fury, washed that asshole right out of my hair, climbed back out (with bloody fingernails, no less), and am quite contentedly ensconced in a pas de deux with my high school dreamboat.

While I feel jinxes lurking around every which corner for even suggesting that emotional and/or romantic peace could even exist, I will say this much: For the first time in a long time, I am calm. And I am happy.

8. The Unofficial one: have I driven, and do I have a car?

YES! And no. I’ve driven plenty, which I’m mighty proud of, and even went car shopping yesterday. I shall terrorize highways yet.

So there you have it. Some gracious nods here and there but, in all honesty, a big incomplete.

Overall, then, a gigantic fail?

No. I don’t see it that way.

I could be hard on myself. I could wail and whine because after all this time, I didn’t do it after all.

Or I could have some compassion for myself, see how far I’ve come, and recognize that I could be on the path to something truly great.

When I started writing here, I was a mess. I was at my desk in my parents’ basement, left ankle freshly sprained, bedecked in flannel pj’s and a box of tissues at the ready since I cried at the drop of a hat. I hated my life, and everything in it.

Truth be told, I hated myself.

Where am I now? Not that far away, when you think about it. I’m on my sofa, in my half decorated loft. There are clothes in the dryer, and Bono is crooning into my living room. I’m still full from my very nutritious dinner and, after I finish posting this, I’ll run upstairs to flump on my bed and call Sandy.

Not far, but not bad. Not bad at all. I like it here just fine.

I like the road ahead even better.

Here’s to missed deadlines. Missed, but never lost.

Cheers.

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away