Memoirs of a Fat Girl

To know more about yourself, take a quiz. Every here and there I like to do one for a fun little reality check.

For instance, did you know that if I were a pair of sandals, I would be platform sandals? Apparently I am funky, urban, and a little downtown & Euro. Well, then.

There's more, too. If I was a superheroine I'd be Elektra, if I were a pinup I'd be Brigitte Bardo, and if I was a hat, I would be a fedora. I have never worn a fedora. How do you think it would look with platform sandals?

Every now and then comes a quiz that shocks the bejesus out of me. www.colorquiz.com offers a free personality test that just takes two screens and a few minutes. Twice, you pick from among eight colour squares, in the order they make you feel the best. I know, child's play.

The quiz is quick, it is lame, it is hokey. It is startling. My results were:

Your Existing Situation: The situation is difficult and you are trying to persist in your objectives against resistance. You find it necessary to conceal intentions as an added precaution, in order to disarm the opposition.

The objectives against resistance part, check. As for disarming the opposition, am I really that calculating? Boohaha.

Your Restrained Characteristics: You cling to your belief that your hopes and ideas are realistic, but you need encouragement and reassurance. You apply very exacting standards to your choice of partner, and want guarantees against loss or disappointment. Egocentric and quick to take offense. Able to obtain physical satisfaction from sexual activity but tend to hold aloof emotionally.

I don't always need encouragement or reassurance, but every now and again it's nice to have. The partner thing is dead on, as is the physical satisfaction. If I'm aloof it's because as you get older, relationships just get all that more ridiculous, and I'd like some feedback before pouring my heart out, dammit.

I used to take offense at the drop of a hat. That was before I learned not to give a shit about what the general populace thought of me.

Your Desired Objective: You strive for a life rich in activity and experience, and for a close bond offering sexual and emotional fulfillment.

Yes. Very much so.

Your Actual Problem: You fight against restriction or limitation, and insist on developing freely as a result of your own efforts.

Since when is that a problem?

Your Actual Problem #2: You want to act freely and uninhibitedly, but you are restrained by your need to have things on a rational, consistent, and clearly-defined basis.

Just come out with it then, I'm a consumerist hog. And how in Zeus' butthole do you come up with all this from picking out a bunch of colour tiles??